There is this really fascinating article at Kitchen Sink Magazine about the inability of couples to really separate. The article spoke volumes to me about the fact that the couples really were looking for lifelong commitment, but they were just really confused about what love looked like.
Posted by matt at July 1, 2003 10:34 AM | TrackBackAnd Western man, after triumphally achieving the quest of endless generations before us - financial and personal independence - discovers that... it kind of sucks. Or at the very least, we have no idea what the hell to do with it.
Posted by: ryan at July 1, 2003 5:36 PMYeah, its kinda like buying this camcorder, making endless tapes of your child existing in every important moment of their childhood, only to find out that watching the past isn't nearly as fulfilling as remembering it.
Posted by: matt at July 2, 2003 12:15 AMWhew! I'm not sure what I expected to find on this blog... but i'm pretty impressed :)
It's a bit much to come in right now and be entered into the middle of all kinds of conversations! --very interesting ideas and thoughts. Matthew, I hope to get to see you either sunday night or Monday earlyish. i hope you're doing well. By the way the info. on the bloomin' onion made me never want to eat another one again...
i put my e-mail in the info but here it is again
annaliese.gilman@wca.pvt.k12.al.us
see you soon! Annaliese
Wow. Annaliese. Amazing. Ya, this is a rapidly growing blogging group, lots o' Covenant folks. If you want a blog, I can set you up with one.
Posted by: JosiahQ at July 2, 2003 5:41 PMI read this article and it makes me kind of sad and kind of confused. I don't know if I think all those relationships built on necessity are beautiful or confining. By relationships built on necessity, I mean the ones where marriage was the thing to do in society or the couple really wanted sex or marriage was the only option out of the parents home. Like it or not, this is most of our parents, almost all our grandparents and some of our friends. The fact is that most of these stories are less than romantic but the couples have stayed married and learned all this stuff about love and life and that's beautiful. On the other hand, there is no telling what potential has been squelched and what dreams have died in the process... Could our generation figure out what a relationship was supposed to be like (we're all a little suspicious it's not the romantic-comedy jive we've been fed by everyone), we would all be miles ahead.
Posted by: Kati Poff at July 3, 2003 3:55 PMI guess that what makes us sad is, like you mentioned, the loss of potential, we all feel like we could find a person that is our center of fiery passion for 50 years of our life. Most often it seems that romantic relationships have been the bridge to stability in our society. You fall in love, then you commit to this person, then your life from then on out will have a mark of order to it that it wouldn't otherwise.
I think this is good. The article is especially interesting to me because it seems like these gen xers are continuing to stabilize their lives with these friendships with ex's even though they never got married. They take the form of a married couple in a sense.
Two things I would like to say about the article on romantic relationships apart from marriage and the comments it elicited. First, God has placed a longing in each of us for such relationships and that is because these relationships all point to the ultimate romantic relationship. The best love story ever told is the gospel, and everything else is a reflection of that.
Second, to make the decision to marry or not to marry based on the perceived level of self-satisfaction it will bring will doom someone to unfulfilled relationships. There is a paradox that lies at the heart of all good relationships: self-satisfaction only comes when self-satisfaction is not sought as the highest goal. Again, Jesus is the one who helps us keep this straight, because he is the perfect lover.
hmm...this article is sounding just a tad too familiar....i think molly's right...that standards have changed. what passed as love for a previous generation feels like stagnation to us.
i wonder sometimes, whether people were really meant to stay together for that long....perhaps forever really means ten to fifteen years tops and 'till death do us part' works only if death is a forseeable prospect for one or both partners.
still, i'd really like to think that this generation will be the one to figure out how to make meaningful long term relationships work...
"still, i'd really like to think that this generation will be the one to figure out how to make meaningful long term relationships work..." "...towards digital cameras."
I think a profound statement has just been made about the telos of contemporary life.
Posted by: mesh at November 21, 2003 3:54 PM