A Taxonomy of Drunkards
"The first is Ape drunke, and leapes and sings, and hollowes, and daunceth for the heavens; the second is Lion drunke, and he flinges the pots about the house, calls his Hostesse Whore, breaks the glass windowes with his dagger, and is apt to quarrel with any man that speaks to him; the third is Swine drunke, heavy, lumpish and sleepie, and cries for a little more drinke, and a few more cloathes; the fourth is Sheepe drunke, wise in his own conceit, when he cannot bring forth a right word; the fifth is Mawdlen drunke, when a fellow will weepe for kindness in the midst of his Ale, and kise you, saying, 'By God, Captaine, I love thee, goe thy waies, thou dost not think so often of me as I do of thee. I would (if it pleased God) could I not love thee so well as I do,' and then he puts his finger in his eie, and cries; the sixth is Martin drunke, when a man is drunke, and drinkes himself sober ere he stirre; the seventh is Goate drunke, when in his drunkenness he hath no mind but on lechery; the eighth is Foxe drunke, when he is craftie drunke, as many of the Dutch men bee who will never bargaine but when they are drunke."
Pierce Penilesse, Thomas Nashe.
| By Josiah Roe | 10:24 PM
