Salmonella Update
In their pre-visit security sweeps, the Department of Homeland Security and the Secret Service stopped by the house today to investigate, as I had been deemed some type of biological-weapon security threat because of my salmonella poisoning. When they entered the house and I showed them the jar of the salmonella infested Peter Pan Peanut Butter, one quick phone call had the National Threat Advisory level raised to orange.
Then I mentioned I bought it at Wal-mart, which after another phone call, had the threat level dropped down to blue or "Guarded". Supposedly foodstuffs from Wal-mart cause these kinds of national security threat problems all the time.
p.s. that was a joke
Chattanooga Politics | By Josiah Roe | 8:29 PM
