U2charist

This, of course, is an underhanded OPC attempt to discredit me and the PCA right before General Assembly. ;)

question: who is more embarrassed: God or U2?

so are you trying to say you want us to sing "40" in church sometime?

It's got to be God. Bono proved to the world that nothing is capable of embarrassing him the first time he sang the words "hello, hello / I'm at a place called vertigo."

Ya, my money is on God:

This is my Bono, a wanker, for you.

Uno! Dos! Tres! 14!

I actually got excommunicated from the Church of Latter Day Bono for my failure to recognize some of Bono's side works as Cannon... such as Million Dollar Hotel, and that crap song they did with Green Day.

After my excommunication, I felt it necessary to start a new church where only U2s truly inspired work would be studied and used in worship. Our Pentetauch (sp) if you will is October because it sets up the remainder of the Cannon for its final epic conclusion in Bono's eventual saving of the world through giving everyone's money to Africa and thus depleting all of the western world of its money and resources to which we become the new Africa... Or in other words we're poor and hungry and Africa is where all the new cool gadgets come from and we're scrounging up pennies to buy out of style jeans and t shirts.

However, we've unfortunately already had a few church's split from our denomination due to several differing interpretations of the word of Bono.

Such as one faction that just left us, left because of their interpretation of "Where the Streets have no name..." Traditionally the church has said this is in reference to heaven or the after life. However a group of churches called the Bonoists just left because they feel that "Where the Streets...." is in reference to a street in Aberdeen New Jersey where there is a street off Church street that is missing a street sign and thus has no name. They take a more literal view of the word of Bono.

In all seriousness this time, I think it goes beyond weird. It's sad. One thing the piece revealed, both specifically (on the pastor's part) and generally (among the culture) is that people don't know the difference between worship music and everything else. CCM, U2, Bruce Cockburn...is _not_ worship music. It may have a spiritual theme from time to time, but those folks might have just well been singing John Lennon during communion (oh, the irony that would be).

OTOH, regular church going people don't often take the time to reflect on what they're singing from the pews, so I suppose it isn't too hard to fathom the leap to a U2charist where people are dancing in the aisles singing, "Walk away, walk away; walk away, walk away. I will follow." The question is, "What or whom are they following?"

Long live hymnity.

At first I thought this was serious. Then I realized that U2charist is some of the most watered down BS theology ever and that Scott insn't into watered down BS theology so then I laughed.

I attended a u2charist last week at Seattle's St. Mark's Episcopal and I have to say there wasn't one mention of the gospel in the communion service. I think it was actually pretty blasphemous. There was more talk about Bono's work serving the poor than Jesus' work on the cross. I'm currently writing an artical for

theotherjournal.com

about the u2charist.

I think it was when we sang:

Johnny take a walk with your sister the moon
Let her pale light in to fill up your room
You've been living underground
Eating from a can

That I was especially confused. The liturgy was awful too. The pastor would read scripture, then the congregation would respond with

"How long? How long must we sing this song"

and I was like "What the hell are we talking about?"

I have the bulletin on my fridge for my roomates amusement.

Here are some other Eucharists that my brothers and I came up with-

Sufcharist
The Whocharist
Sonic Youthcharist
Death Cab For Cucharist
The Silver Jewcharist
Randy Newkarist
Bjorkarist
Beastie Boycharist
Wilcocharist

the last few are a stretch.

john--could you possibly scan the bulletin and post it somewhere for all to see? it would definitely be interesting to look at. and i'm really surprised the message was so watered down. i mean, they're singing u2--you'd think the message would be spot on.

Hmmm, sarcasm

I think "Silver Jewcharist" is the funniest thing I've heard in a while.

A Silver Jewcharist would certainly skew towards the Old Testament.

"The lights went out in New York/Then they went in Goshen/I got stuck in Goshen and that was bad"

Or the song from Starlite Waker, "Rebel Jew"-

"He was a rebel jew
He was a rebel jew
and He died for you and your sins
He was a rebel jew
He was a rebel jew
let Him in"

I capitalized the personal pronouns myself.