Just Shoot Me
Ye folks out there who know me are aware that on occasion I'm known to manifest certain traits of what may be called an "addictive personality." Now, I'd like to be charitable to myself here and say that I have addictive traits, as opposed to full blown sociopathic obsession with one thing or another. I burned out of that 'round the tenth grade.
But every now and then it pops it's ugly head. Like, forgive me for waxing cheese-ball, but I've been on one of those kicks about April for what's nearing two years come January. I just can't get enough.
Perhaps the most embarassing of those kicks was around the 9th grade where I became utterly obsessed with all things Jurassic Park. I read the book in about 18 hours, straight through. I bought all the action figures, any magazine with anything remotely Jurassic in it, and saw the movie some 13 times. Yes, this was silly. But I loved dinosaurs you see. Plus they're educational! Don't you want me to learn?
Recently though a little tiny thing called Final Fantasy Tactics Advance is making a bid to steal my soul. I hate that damn game. And I use that word quite intentionally, for I do believe that the game was conceived of by known other than the Dark Lord himself, intent on draggin' we who find pleasure in the hallowed halls of video-gaming down into a black hole of responsibility abdication and relational laziness. When SquareSoft, whom I will henceforth refer to as S.D.D. (Satan's Digital Demons), claims that there is some 150 hours of gameplay, the web of deceit has just begun.
I suppose the game has some 150 hours of gameplay, if you race as fast as you can straight to the end, but doing so would leave 90% of the vast expanse of the game untapped. For a tangential freak like myself, it's as if I've been left all alone in the candy store. Hell, it's like they've GIVEN me the candy store, which is next to a candy factory, which they've given to me also along with several billions dollars of venture capital to start creating my OWN crazy candy creations. I'm fairly certain one could play this game, and 'round the time all the little nooks and crannies and options had finally been exhausted, George W would be half way through his second term, or Howard Dean would be two years into his first.
So, flee, flee from that game. I must now go pick up April from Cigna.
Josiah Q. Roe | By Josiah Roe | 04:14 PM
Comments
I too got too into JP. I had most of the figures, still have all of them actually, trading cards, the books, saw the first movie 7 times in the theater,
Posted by: holton at October 7, 2003 05:01 PM
didn't get into Jurasic Park, but yes, FFTA will steal your soul. It is a good trip though. It has sadly already claimed a good 30 hours of my time.
Posted by: crabby at October 7, 2003 06:06 PM
Yeah. Now we've got Matt hooked too. I gave him the game this afternoon and he's already logged at least 4 hours. I've fooled around with it a bit myself, but I found that using MusicMatch causes the game to go into overdrive (450-500%), which is annoying.
Posted by: ryan at October 7, 2003 09:50 PM
Personally Im a Civ3 man and I'm resisting SW Galaxies as hard as possible because I know that as soon as I give in my life will be, for all intents and purposes, over. Actually I'm just poor and I can't wait so telling myself that I'm doing myself a favor helps but not much.
I'm a big fan of the whole FF franchise but for some reason I haven't played tactics yet. I'm sure that once I do, though, I'll be lost to the controller once again.
Posted by: ColeSlaw at October 8, 2003 10:28 AM
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