Take A Stroll Down My Lane

Pic 1: "Catagrads"
I spent my first couple years at Covenant with roughly the same group of Catacombians. They were all about a year ahead of me, and this is a pic of all of them at graduation. They are, from left to right, Justin "Wilson" Walton, Wes "Dad" Hallowell, Chris "Gosey" Gosey, Andy Ross (he n' Jenn just had their first kid), Ty Willison (Brother of Todd), Dave "Cock" Hancock, and Nathan "Maph-Dawg" Maphet. note: Nicknames on Catacombs are harder to shake than a cold sore, and sometimes just as painful. For example, everybody know's who "Wilson" is, and if you told someone his last name was "Walton," they'd think you were lying.

Pic 2: Ben "Crack" Crist
I'm certain I couldn't accurately describe Ben Crist to you even if I wanted. He was an incredible talented musician, best known for his fan-favorite "you build my drumset" (while nude, mind you) & setting fire to couches, mattresses, or anything really and ditching them out of the back of his van. It was Ben Crist who started the infamous "fountain-change-ganking" runs in the middle of the night to Rock Creek.

Pic 3: "Hitler-Neilson"
I found this pic for a windbag article I never finished writing. It was a edited picture of Hitler with the head of the new Covenant President Neil B. Neilson. No, he is not Hitler, and yes, it was in horrible taste.

Pic 4: HoJo on Impact
Holton & I got to be good buds when we were RA's together. We went to Ireland together and endured the hell that is Mason on a trip overseas (as opposed to the hell that is Mason when your not overseas). This pic was one of the first of our crazy scheme together, the most recent one being a live-action film about an Underwriter that comes back in time to save everybody from Blue Cross Blue Shield. There will also be lots of naked T-1000 insurance salesman.

Pic 5: Joel & Jason "Reason" Brown
This is the first of quite a few "Covenant Freedom Party" pictures. Some of you remember Jason "Reason" Brown, who made an art out of making sweet little Marcus Todd cry. You might not like him for that; I certainly had a hard time with it. Anyways, Joel Hawbaker is the other cat in the pic, the brother of a John Hawbaker who frequents the chattablogs scene.

Pics 6, 7, 8, 9: Buttroot1, Buttroot2, OldSkool Roots, PigRoots
These pics were a series of photos edited by Fernando Jose' Windemuller for his "Know Yer Roots" compaign, which was basically I believe his first attempt at revolutionary propoganda, I'm not really sure. Picture 1 features the posteriors of Matt Mantooth (left) and Andy Ross (right). Picture 2 features the posteriors of Andy (left) and Lang Martin (right). Ya, he's the one with the tatoo in the "feminine position" as I call it. Picture three was taken from a 1978 Covenant yearbook that Fern dug-up. It was from that picture we resurrected the named "Catacombs Homeboy, Catacombs Farmboy, and HomeComb Cataboy" into today's Catacombian vernacular. The final picture is of Lang & the dead pig "Babe." Many folks today still think it's just a rumor that we killed a pig in the Catacombs bathroom, but now you have the evidence to the contrary. Fern & Joe Staven bought the pig somewhere in north Georgia and we used it for our "Greased Pig Run" for Around Founders, then the next day Lang with some help killed the pig in the bathroom. I then cleaned and gutted the pig on the backsteps leading out of Blez/Catacombs (I was the only one who had cleaned an animal b4) while professors made their way past me up to their classes. It was wierd. Fern & Joe then roasted the pig all day and we ate it out at Highlands where we played naked soccer and danced around the pigs head on a stake. Tweety the pedophiliac security guard showed up and tried to make us leave (we wouldn't). And I saved the pig's heart in a jar of formaldahyde until Trevor hid it in the roof of the Founders elevator where I found it 2 years later (after they told me of course).

Pic 10: System's Analysis Note Burning
I was an Philosophy/Computer Science double major at Covenant. It is universally agreed upon by the ICS majors that certain classes were, shall we say, of lesser worth than other ICS classes. One of those was System's Analysis, where the work required far superseeded the value of the knowledge gained. The professor, Dr. Bryan, also requird of us copius copius amounts of writing for our final project, number over a thousand pages of meaningless drivel (inherent to the project, not what we put in to it). We decided the best way to honor the completion of this class was to burn our collected papers from that class for the semester. It took us an hour to burn them all, there were so many. Pictured are Jake Bennet, Dan "Old Dirty Baptist" Thompson, and Kyle Posey. Matt Krueger & Eric Renkema were also present.

Pic 11: Ian "Quintar" Work I have no idea why I have this picture of Ian Work, the Champion of exclusive-psalmist homeschoolers everywhere. I think I made a poster with his pic on it once, and I recall it really drove him batty. This guy was about as straight-shootin' as they come, so I'm sad to admit I loved poking fun at him or stickin' him in the spotlight. I grew to love him when he sang Green Days "When I Come Around" and the Eddie Trygar tune "Sex & the Single Person" at The Baker Tree Festival. I figured if Ian could grow to comfortably utter the word "sex" in front of hundreds of people, there's hope for all of us.

Ah, dear old Crackhead. A fine fellow.

This is, by the way, my 100th comment on Irresponsible Journalism. Does this make me your chief irresponsible field correspondent?

who is keeping the stats, mesh?

That is not my butt in picture number 2. I can show you my actual tattoo, if you require proof. My guess is that that ass belongs to Mr. Chris Gosey. Gosey?

Oh man, you're probably correct, I forgot, more of you folks got those tat's in the femine position. Unbelievable. What a disgrace.

Oh the fond memories of Systems Analysis. I would have burnt my notes, but Dr. Bob never gave them back to us--I think he must have found out what your class did to them.

yup, that ass belongs to me. I'm the one on the right, and the other is either wilson or andy. i think it's wilson.

I've got the jar with all the ashes from that Systems Analysis burning... we labeled it with the year and the names of all present.

Talk about cartharsis!

hitler is gay and so are jews