Wise Drivel

It's kickoff time

Yep, as I type this, it's just under 9 hours until VU kicks off their 2008 football season.

I love college football, and enjoy watching Vanderbilt play as often as I can. They play tonight at 7:30 at Miami of Ohio from the MAC.

I fully expect to be sitting on the couch, holding my head in my hands in disappointment in about 10 hours. I've been a Vandy fan too long to expect anything else.

Christian Spam

I just wanted to reassure you all out there that it's perfectly OK to delete a bothersome email with a spiritual message in it. In fact, it is perfectly allowable to delete said email entirely unread.

I know they usually contain threats that deletion is proof that you are a godless heathen, as is failure to forward to 10 friends.

This is not true.

Just a friendly reminder.

Smart move by Mr Obama's advisors

So, Barack is going to reveal his VP pick via text and email... all you have to do is get on a list and you can be among the first 20 million or so to find out.

This is a stroke of brilliance. The O'Bama (yes, I know that's not how it's written) campaign is going to get a boatload of contact info. They can virtually napalm the entire TXT demographic with a few keystrokes and a click. Every day. Often, several times a day, I'm sure, as November approaches.

Mr O'Bama is getting into their phones (the most indispenseable tool the under-30's have) and is going to set up camp there. Nice idea. Score one for his advisors. They are certainly with the times.

Mr McCain's people had better get into the collective faces of a BUNCH of these people really fast, or it's over.

New advertizing buzzword -- MELTY

I'm hearing the word melty used a lot in advertizing these days... Specifically as it is used to describe cheese.

Taco Bell has their "Cheesy Beefy Melt," which they describe as being filled with melty cheese. Pizza Hut uses the same term to describe the cheese inside their stuffed crust pizza.

Taco Bell and Pizza Hut are both owned by the same company (Pepsico), so I'm not terribly surprised that they both employ the same word in their ads. But I also heard it used in another ad, and although I don't recall what it was for, I don't think it was from the same parent company.

Why melty? I suppose "melted" cheese connotes something in more of a liquid state. Perhaps consumers find it off-putting. Perhaps melted is not an accurate way to describe cheese that is soft and stretchy, but still clinging to some vestige of solidness. Melted=fondue; melty=pizza cheese.

The Onion did a nice story on this a year and a half ago. Clearly, I'm not the first to notice that this word has crept into pop culture usage. People have been using it for years, but now it's... official. Businesses are intentionally using it with pride to desribe their products. Marketing experts are sitting around a table, tossing around words, and they decide that the best way to provide an accurate word picture of the cheese in their product is to invent a new word -- melty. Instantly, the consumer knows exactly what to expect from the prduct.

The first time I hard the term, it was used to describe a cassette tape (yes, it was that long ago) that had been playing continuously in a car tape player for several hours. It was a while before I came to accept it as a way to describe food. I like it, but I don't like it. But no matter what, I do like melty cheese. Melty chocolate, not so much. Melty underwear? I don't think so.

Why did it take me so long to discover coffee?

I only started drinking coffee last June. My parents have always loved it, but I never understood their devotion to the nasty stuff. Now I do.

I have come to love coffee. I enjoy drinking it, even from a styrofoam cup with a sippy-hole in the plastic lid. I want it while I drive. I want it while I wait. I want it all the time. I even like decaf. Flavors are fine, but plain coffee is good too. Yes, I have had some bad coffee... but I just really, really love coffee in general these days.

For the last 32 or so years, I had been a devoted drinker of hot tea. Since discovering coffee, I have only had tea once. Any you know what? It wasn't that great.

In closing, I like my coffee like I like my women... really hot, artificially sweet, and not so black.

Too easily angered lately

Lately, I find my self becoming angry at things that shouldn't make me angry.

"Family Circus" makes me angry because ever since my friend ThatChris pointed out that it's never really been funny, I can't believe they still have the sack to print it. It's getting worse every week.

The "Happenings in Your Neighborhood" feature in the Life section of the Friday paper -- you know, the page where each section of town (at least those with some kin dof well-to-do element) is represented by a "community correspondent" who gives a brief rundown of upcoming events in that particular area. Do we really need a column that starts with "Do you like silent auctions?"

The sign posted on the door of the Food Lion in East Ridge on Super Tuesday that read, "Due to election's, we are unable to sale beer until the poll's are closed. Sorry for any inconvience." That's 4 writing errors in 18 words. They're not even trying.

The radio commercial on Jack FM where the girl with the annoyingly twangy accent (who is this girl? Is she local? She's in half the commercials that run on Jack FM). This particular ad is for a printing company. The punchline is that the girl wants them to print her a new (presumably better) report card. Hardy har har.

There is almost nothing worth reading in the Weekend section of the paper. Movie listings, maybe.

"Bad to the Bone" continues to receive airplay. Sometimes it comes on while I'm in the shower. That means I have to lean precariously out of the shower, risking life and limb, to turn off the radio.

Cleveland, TN is a gaping pit of hell. It is the New Jersey of the South. Why do people choose to live there? The town is poorly laid out, the drivers are idiots, and the culture borders on inbred.

Any sticker placed on a car In Loving Memory of some dead person. Are these necessary? Do they have a statute of limitations? When can you scrape it off your car without dishonoring the deceased? Does a window decal really express the right feelings for the occasion? How long does the general public need to be reminded of this dead person they had never even heard of before?

I'm sure there's more.