effigy

non-exempt

grief -- it is the killing joy
and no one is exempt

it is the only stuff you want to damn
it really is, because
because it comes at all
because it comes
in phone calls at ungodly hours
in subways on the back
of someone's newspaper
while you sit in quiet shock
it comes like anger, treasonous
surprizing jolts
like job-skin suits
like weak ring prongs
like unexpected stubs
like highway robbery
like dying
and no one is exempt

it rains, it pours
vague or distinct
it locks the doors
until you think
there's nothing left of you
to answer
or until
you forget the question

and lest you tense up
lest you try
to buck up and be brave
lest you brace yourself and say
you are a superhero, fiberglass
or other self-sufficed
things start to fall
things start to break
like broken dishes
broken contracts, broken dates
broken streaks of luck
broken plans to save the world
at least save africa

avoid it at all costs
your instinct says
you watch for red-glow exit signs
you wear three safety belts
you seek prevention
you would trade
your life for painless peace
if you could choose, sometimes you would

but specter-like, it never leaves
in-built invading poking parasite
it floods across potato fields
and pours through children's eyes
a stigma cloud that never clears
a rabid clown that rides your back
and won't get down
it walks in halls without a light
it stalks with nothing but a knife
it screams how could you do that
and whispers so would i

grief falls in sheets
to flatten you
just pulverized
just paper thin
so you will fold around things
so you will fly, light-like
it can usher in joy

it can
joy
that lasts so broad
and spans so long
that spreads so much
faster
and wider
than any cancer could

it rains, it pours
vague or distinct
it locks the doors
until you think
there's nothing left of you
to answer
or until
you forget the question

and then one moment
while you quiver
waiting for fresh blades to fall
then that's when
the calmish storm
the wild grace
glides and collides
with sweet velocity
that magnitude of sovereign joy
might never be outrun
and never shall run out
thank God
no one's exempt

Posted by joydriven at November 14, 2003 05:35 PM | TrackBack