May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day Story
Happy Mother's Day to each of you . . . even if you're not a mother, I'm very certain that you have helped mother someone's child. Have a great day, a good laugh and be blessed.
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Chapstick
We had this great 10-year-old cat named Jack who just recently died.
Jack was a great cat, and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom.
We have three kids, and at the time of this story, they were four years old, three years old, and one year old.
The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved Chapstick. LOVED it. He kept asking to use my Chapstick and then would lose it. Finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my Chapstick and explained he could use it whenever he wanted to, but he needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished.
That year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys were fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I was trying to nurse my little one at the same time I was putting on my make-up. Everything was a mess, and everyone had long forgotten that this was a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.
We finally had the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I was looking for Eli. I searched everywhere and I finally went into the bathroom. There was Eli. He was applying my Chapstick very carefully to Jack's ... rear end.
Eli looked right into my eyes and said, "Chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right -- their little bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. The only question to ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth!?!
And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your Chapstick on the cat's butt.
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<3 GrandMom LOVE ~ Thank to Marie for this email story.
Good Story | By Omie | 10:01 AM | Comments (0)
May 08, 2008
Grandmothers
Grandbaby Max with his make-do "hiking stick" at Omie's house.
Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown
What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret
Grandmothers are just 'antique' little girls. ~Author Unknown
Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb
A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.
~Author Unknown
Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal
Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown
Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Grandpas have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret
Grandma always made you feel like she had been waiting to see just you all day, and now the day was complete. ~Marcy DeMaree
Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown
If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse
My grand kids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret
If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it!
~Hannah Whithall Smith
It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother. That's why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown
Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip. AMEN to that!
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb
An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. ~Dave Barry
I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.
~Gene Perret
Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple: Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown
Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley
Grandmother: A wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown
A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown
One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove
It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one.
~Author Unknown
If your baby is 'beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,' then you're the grandma.
~Teresa Bloomingdale
Grandparents are similar to a piece of string: handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown
What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children, and if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a faster rate. ~Bill Cosby
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie
Seeing the grandchildren is always a big treat, but the sweetest words ever heard are 'bye bye grandma!'
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<3 GrandMom "OMIE" Love ~ Thanks to "grandmom Gladys."
Good Story | By Omie | 01:31 PM | Comments (0)
May 06, 2008
Ode to Plurals
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
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English: A Language for the Verbally Insane
Let’s face it—English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop?
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to "Hoss."
Good To Know | By Omie | 08:53 PM | Comments (0)
Materialistic
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop in his cruiser was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing.
But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up that day, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important t hings in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"
"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!"
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to the "ex."
Jokes | By Omie | 02:47 PM | Comments (0)
May 05, 2008
11 Commandments from Bill Gates
This should be posted in all U.S. schools and work places
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to Catherine.
Good To Know | By Omie | 03:28 PM | Comments (0)
Beautiful Minds
Stephen Wiltshire the Human Camera
Have never seen anything like this before?
This is very interesting. This guy is amazing.
Copy and paste: http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=0k4lsi1dql
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<3 GrandMom Love ~ Thanks to junior high friend, Judy V.
Good Story | By Omie | 03:00 PM | Comments (0)