March 31, 2004

NY

hi.

I'll write some more on NY later.. but I will say that it was an unbelievable trip.
Absolutely.
I have video of it, so as soon as i get the right equipment, I'll rip it to my computer and post some snippets for ya'll to see;)
I had a blast!... but if i could change one thing, I would +++ the partying. the GROUP partying ;)))
lots of drool-worthy guys in our group.
and leading our group.
but they are more than that, by all stretches of the imagination;)
I must step lightly...

*licks*

oh, yeah i guess since it was an art co-op trip.. i should mention that all of the art was amazing. I simply couldnt get enough of it.
I want to go back.
who's with me?

damn. too bad life .comes with consequences.
can't be messing with the time/space continuum and all that.
;)

March 21, 2004

dancing seals

wellll then
its 4:33 Am. just got home from being out with friends..
Had a lot of fun!! but a long day.
Today was the first day of spring!!!
and you know, i cant think of a better way to spend it.

I went to a rally race tdoay. IT was rockin'. Never seen anything like it..
lots of waiting beforehand, but after being out in the sun, i was totally dehydrated and tired.
Did manage to get videotape of it.. after i figure all of it out (you know, in all my spare time.) i'll hopefully get a video online of it.
It was the World Pro-Rally Tour or something like that.
I got an awesome redneck tan.

Saw Hopsing Project at R&b tonight too :)
They covered Tiny Dancer. ****
:)))
Afterwards I was invited over to a house party.. where funnily enough we ended up playing what they called win lose or draw.. but it was basically pictonary;)
All in all, a long day.. but very fun :))
I'm kinda tired, but have to admit I'm considering pulling an all-nighter.
hmmm...
The Loft.

4:45 am.
If i take the early shift, I'd be at work in 45 minutes.

March 19, 2004

late night blogging incident of happy good news

Hey
its tired and im late.

I wanted to make a quick post about the most generous thing a teacher has ever done in a class.

My professor Ms. R.T. did the most awesome thing today.
Our class has been collaborating on a book project for the past 3 weeks, and we finally.. finally had the final class to finish it up and move on in a new direction.
The title of the book is "The Way All The Other Apple Eaters Look At Things"
So today, we were in class as usual, and were called out into the hallway after a noticeable delay. The class all filed out, curious to see what in the world she was doing.. and on this shelf along the hallway, R.T. had set up this...i don't know what to call it.. display!? of all kinds of apply food! There were apples, apple granola, apple cereal, apple juice, apple crisps, peeps! starbursts and suckers! My mouth fell open when I saw it!!! I couldn't believe she had gone through so much trouble!!! It was an incredible treat for everyone.. and of course, being the graphic design teacher that she is, it was very fashionably presented!!!
lol omg i had to give her a hug...and I really really wish I had my camera... I could have cried and I am sad that I didn't capture that moment on film. So,I am trying my best to recall it in words.
After the initial shock and food raid! the entire class cranked up the music and wandered around the hallway and lab talking and laughing.. and basically just having a party! ooommg it was so much fun!!
heehee.. the drawing professor from the classroom down the hall came up to this supposed "mass chaos" of a class and was like.. what's going on?!?!
I, being the smartass that I am, stuck my head in the doorway to the lab (where we have all macintosh computers)laughed and said, "We're really fired up about our mac lab!"

thankfully, R.T. got the joke ;)))
goodnight! and I'm uberhappy to report such a generous, touching and happy moment. I really will cherish this memory of college, and will so far hold it as one of the nicest things a professor has ever done for my class.
:~)

its funny how its the smallest things (even though this was a big thing!)that count, that touch our memories, and become something we hold dearest in our hearts...for the rest of our lives.
How great a difference one life, one action, one moment can make.
You will never know how your actions affect others, how deep an impression you make in other lives.
Treasure each moment.
Life, love is too brief.

He who grasps, loses
But He who does not take advantage of the life he's given...

and now that i feel all darn romantic and sadly beautiful, an even smaller experience to share:
i felt like such a good student today. Doing research in the library.. on a really cool topic! that's too complicated and not quite together yet to write about here (soon perhaps..) but I actually didn't want to go to class, surprised at wanting to stay and read and read!!

(psychoanalytical explorations in art)

more later..
**Love*

March 16, 2004

third times a charm

ok
so i make an appt with student health services on monday cause im feelin just awful.
the appt is wed at 1.
the appt was so far away, that im already getting better.

i should have called 2 weeks ahead of time and made plans to be sick for the 15th.

inside joke...

I'm going to send her this picture a couple months down the road...

let's get this party started.

He who grasps loses.


I'm sick of being sick.

I am ever thankful of my continuous state of renewal.
Moving Forward,
Keeping Still.

ecstaticated by my own self worth
a reveling in the soft white
that clouds the sky
and not mine eyes.

Discovery of such only though the absence
of what I once held dear
and realization coming
forward
with no inside, outside or middle
an exchange for peace
by an exchange of piece.

empty.

falling to your hands
id resign my spirit
in
trust
my
self-righteous suicide of
i cry. when angels dissapear
in night.

and a resignation of
lonliness
even though the need
is still there.

trust
in
my,

March 11, 2004

High Hopes

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river

not sure.

So what is the determining point between justification and lonliness?
Is the realization of lonliness being distinct from a need of purpose enough?

To justify oneself as being a solitary being, all on your own
to make yourself happy
i feel that lonliness is just a part of the realization
that some perfer companionship over solitude.

Though perhaps the ideal
is a balance of both.

I think that is something that is different for each person encountered.
whether it is friendships, a sisterhood, or relationship.
Changing one another does not occur.
Changing attitude is controlled by you.

March 08, 2004

I am a post modernist.

My deconstructivist view even pervades my hair products.
regis pomade:

so it was pretty cool today, got to trade out the wrong pomade for the right stuff.
i had "shine" pomade.. without the hold.
I gotta have the shine and the hold.

and the hold.

more on the post modernist view:

So whats with this "post-modernist" title anyway
i must be in the future.. cause im after the present.
I don't totally agree with all of this, but here's a pure post-modernist point of view.

The features in the table below are only tendencies, not absolutes. In fact, the tendency to see things in seemingly obvious, binary, contrasting categories is usually associated with modernism. The tendency to dissolve binary categories and expose their arbitrary cultural co-dependency is associated with postmodernism.

MODERNISM

  • Using rational, scientific, logical means to know the world. Optimism that we can understand and control an objective world

POSTMODERNISM

  • A reaction against rationalism, scientism, or objectivity of modernism.
  • There is an absolute, universal truth that we can understand through rationalism and logic.
  • There is no universal truth. Rationality by itself does not help us truly understand the world.
  • Humans are material machines. We live in a purely physical world. Nothing exists beyond what our senses perceive.
  • Suspicious of such dogmatic claims to knowledge.
  • Humankind is progressing by using science and reason.
  • "Progress" is a way to justify the domination by European culture of other cultures.
  • Time, history, progress
  • Culture on Fast Forward: Time and history replaced by speed, futureness, accelerated obsolescence.
  • history as a "narrative of what happened" with a point of view and cultural/ideological interests.
  • Postmodern historians and philosophers question the representation of history and cultural identities: history as "what 'really' happened" is from one group's point of view
  • Faith in "Depth" (meaning, value, content, how things work) over "Surface" (appearances, the superficial, how we use things).
  • Attention to play of surfaces, images, things mean what we make them mean, no concern for "depth" but with how things look and respond
  • "disenchantment with material truth and search for abstract truth."
  • "There is no universal truth, abstract or otherwise."
  • Faith in the "real" beyond media and representations; authenticity of "originals"
  • Hyper-reality, image saturation, simulacra seem more powerful than the "real"; images and texts with no prior "original".
    "As seen on TV" and "as seen on MTV" are more powerful than unmediated experience.

TIME LINE

  • (Renaissance?) Enlightenment > 1750s > 1890-1945.

 

  • Post WWII, especially after 1968

GENERAL

  • Attempt to acheive a unified, coherent world-view from the fragmentation that defines existence

 

  • Attempt to overturn the distinction between "high" and "low" culture
  • High Modernism 1920s & 1930s, following WWI -- outmoded political orders and old ways of portraying the world no longer seemed appropriate or applicable; reaction against existing order
  • Eclecticism, a tendency toward parody and self-reference, and a relativism that knows no ultimate truth; no distinctions between "good" and "bad"
  • Classification of the world; order; hierarchy
  • The way we understand the world is relative; it depends on our culture, position, class, gender, age, time period, beliefs, etc.
  • Mastery and progress Historical development; past affects present and future. Universalizing Linear (like a novel) Works of art, science are windows to the truth.
  • "Localizing", pluralizing Non-linear (like the Web) Works of art, science are only texts, can only be understood in themselves.

COMPUTERS

  • PCs/UNIX/command line environments Stand-alone mainframe computers
    CULTURE OF CALCULATION

 

  • Macintosh/Windows; Internet/WWW Computer networks
    CULTURE OF SIMULATION
  • Subverted order, decentralized control, fragmentation.

CULTURE

  • High culture vs. low culture -- strictly divided; Only high culture deserves to be studied, analyzed

 

  • Everything's "popular" culture -- it all deserves to be studied; pluralizing Commodification of culture -- everything can be bought or sold
  • Humans are self-governing and free to choose their own direction
  • People are the product of their culture and only imagine they are self-governing.
  • reality can be discovered through science and can be expressed abstractly (equations)
  • "the transformation of reality into images" (Britney Spears is not a person but an image; Nike is not about shoes but about an image, etc.)
  • Mass culture, mass consumption, mass marketing.
  • Demassified culture; niche products and marketing, smaller group identities.

STYLE

 

 

  • Pastiche and parody of multiple styles: old forms of "content" become mere "styles"
 
  • "in a world in which stylistic innovation is no longer possible, all that is left is to imitate dead styles... (retro, bell bottoms, resurect old styles periodically because there is nothing else new-- we can only remix what's been done.)
 
  • stylistic masks, image styles, without present content: the meaning is in the mimicry
 
  • postmodern attempts to provide illusions of individualism (ads for jeans, cars, etc.) through images that define possible subject positions or create desired positions (being the one who's cool, hip, sexy, desirable, sophisticated...).

SYMBOLISM

  • Symbols & meaning: hammer and sickle = world communism

 

  • Symbols drained of meaning: hammer and sickle in advertising (e.g., beer commercials)

ARCHITECTURE

  • "Form follows function"; Le Corbusier, "machine aesthetic"; Mies van der Rohe; International style (eg, airports): straight, clean lines

 

  • Multiple, historical refs.; "playful" mix of styles, past and present. Las Vegas, Pompidou Center; Venturi, Robert Stirling
BODY
  • Clear dichotomy between organic and inorganic, human and machine

  • cyborgian mixing of organic and inorganic, human and machine and electronic

POLITICS

  • Big ideas/big, centralized political parties rule

 

  • Fragmented ideas, decentralized power; "micro-politics": interest groups rule (minority factions, NRA, business groups); Foucault, "everyone has a little power" TV politics -- clash of images: "how will it play on the six o'clock news?"
  • Door-to-door politics; big rallies
  • "Late capitalism" rules
  • Capitalism vs. communism: clash of ideologies "The Making of the President" Parody: Dr. Strangelove; Orwell's Animal Farm
  • "The Selling of the President" Pastiche: Wag The Dog

IDENTITY

  • Sense of unified, centered self; "individualism," unified identity.

 

  • Sense of fragmentation and decentered self; multiple, conflicting identities.

ARTS

  • Artist is creator rather than preserver of culture Impressionism, Cubism, abstract expressionism, suprematism (Malevich's "Black Square") "Photograph never lies" -- photos and video are windows/mirrors of reality

 

  • Artist plays with different styles; aesthetics; pastiche all-important Pop Art, Dada, montage
  • Art fights capitalism
  • Photoshop: photos and video can be altered completely; montage (where's the reality?) Art is consumed by capitalism
  • Art as unique object and finished work authenticated by artist and validated by agreed upon standards.
  • Art as process, performance, production, intertextuality. Art as recycling of culture authenticated by audience and validated in subcultures sharing identity with the artist.
  • Art as one unique object created by a master artist.

    Analog media: quality deteriorates the farther removed a copy is from the original
  • Art as copies (Andy Warhol's Factory)

    Digital media: there is no distinction between an original and a copy
  • Seriousness of intention and purpose, middle-class earnestness.
  • Play, irony, challenge to official seriousness, subversion of earnestness.
  • Sense of clear generic boundaries and wholeness (art, music, and literature).
  • Hybridity, promiscuous genres, recombinant culture, intertextuality, pastiche.

FICTION/LITERATURE

  • Novel is the dominant form; movies Author determines meaning; the "canon"; of great works: Shakespeare, Kafka, Joyce, Some can tell "good" from "bad" -- art critics important

 

  • TV, WWW; Meaning is indeterminate. Thomas Pynchon, Cathy Acker, William Gibson. Rise in importance of "popular" culture; we can't tell good from bad; it's all relative
  • Interpretation of a text; there is an ultimate meaning hidden inside master literature
  • Non-interpretation of a text; there is no ultimate meaning, instead meaning emerges from what the audience brings to the text
  • the book as sufficient bearer of the word; the library as system for printed knowledge
  • hypermedia as transcendence of physical limits of print media; the Web or Net as information system

MEDIA

  • Knowledge mastery, attempts to embrace a totality.

    The encyclopedia.

 

  • Navigation, information management, just-in-time knowledge.

    The Web.
  • Broadcast media, centralized one-
    to-many communications.
  • Interactive, client-server, distributed, many- to-many media (the Net and Web).
  • Centering/centeredness,
    centralized knowledge.
  • Dispersal, dissemination,
    networked, distributed knowledge

MUSIC

  • Mozart, Beethoven, Schoenberg Idea of creating an artistic "piece" continued through to rock'n'roll era.

 

  • "World music"; Djs mixing of styles Sampling John Cage, David Byrne
KEYWORDS
depth surface
optimism cynicism
analog digital
linear multi-pathed
control-design chance
cause-effect synchronicity
logical spiritual
centered dispersed
uniformity diversity
hierarchical anarchical
authoritarian democratic
patriarchy non-patriarchy; feminism
monism pluralism
Taken from: http://nmc.lyola.edu/intro/postmod/table.htm

"latah play.."

Yeahh
so i guess i should update my blog.
im on spring break!
got a *cute* white off the shoulder top today.
hearing all kinds of stuff
having videos of good nature visiting and near makin me cry
drinkin at shows..
starting to write in a journal.

tat healing well
waiting for it to get warm so i can tan...
cant wait for it to fade...
J bones!

yeah this all seems random...
show is going down on thursday
just chillin here listenin to some rizap.. Ying Yang Twinz done done it again;)
I swear, i love the bass hits.
I love the bass hits.
...
mmmm dieselboy;)))
I really want a video camera.

though back in my old skool days, those got me into enough trouble.
hopefully this time around it will be put to more... artistic uses.

DAMN IT FEEL SSO GOOD TO BE ON SPRING BREAK
i actually signed onto AIM today. :o
damn u ppl need to see this site and download these videos
this shits hilarious:
http://scottyfox.com/fredryk/

ahhmmmm
ok wat else is new?
getting ignored sucks.
yeah.
but it was an absent minded ignoredness sprung from a lack for social finness...
not saying im my own product line, but damn.
a girl gets pretty alone in a bar when she came with someone, and doesnt know anyone else... and isnt getting introduced or even included in conversations.
juiced my contacts fora ll they were worth that night
i was actually bored.
kinda dissapointed :\
wheres the line of polite, too shy or socially anxious?
yeah.
i want to start a new entry.

March 01, 2004

The World's Best Kitchen Utensil

YEs! By executive decision, it has been determined. This is the best invention for today's kitchen!
(Besides the corkscrew.)
This thing is marvelous! It makes it so easy to get all of the batter out of the bowl... no having to sit there and scrape multiple times with a spoon.. one swipe and its done!
Teflon friendly, you can use it while cooking, and it gets rid of those left-on-thesideofthepan crusties... you know what im talkin about.


BUT!
There is one problem here...
What the heck is this thing called?!??

Look it up on google.
go ahead.
whats the name of it?
If it has one, i just don't know it.. so.. any culinary whizzes out there?
On a cooking website its category is "utensils".. and its called a "spatula"
Not only is the end of it different than the flipping pancake kind.. but it is used in a totally different manner, and regular spatulas cant touch this things swiping power.
Alright, alright. I'll accept it being categorized as a "spatula"..
but this poor abused and forgotten utensil needs a unique name.

Any ideas?! 8*
.....
heehehe
so anyway, off this random tangent of oppressed kitchen utensils and back to work;P

\n